Sunday, January 25, 2009

First Real Funfest of '09

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We just spent 10 days in Florida folks. Sounds great, right? So my friends from up north call me a coddled AWOL son of a...
and the Floridians affectionately blame me for the 60 or lower temps the whole time we're there.

I finally lost it and reminded the northerners (particularly my NY/NJ pals) that just 4 days before my departure, I
shoveled just under 11 inches of snow out of my drive and found the temperature to be 0 degrees the morning I left. I mean, really, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? NOT GO OUT OF SOLIDARITY, YOU MISERABLE BITTER WRETCHES?

As for you Floridians, running around in your sweats, shivering, bitching and moaning about the possible frost that would mess up your beautiful flowers... well... YOU OWE ME!!! I didn't once wear my board shorts. I had to dig out MY hoodie, which was supposed to sit in a closet until we left. Apologies that are offered will be accepted.

So this morning we get up far too early, and make our way home.

Our oldest daughter Gayle, bearer of both our granddaughters, Elliott Rose, 4 years, and Frankie Jane, 2 months, picks us up in my car and drives us home to several inchesof the white stuff in the driveway. I grab a shovel and zap a path for Dolli (don't want to wreck the MBTs... though she DID have socks on, forcing her to look , from the ankles down, like a Birkenstocked schoolmarm), and took in all the luggage, computers, etc.

Dolli and Gayle decide to each grab a shovel (thanks to this year's visit to Lowes, we have 38 of them) and between the three of us, knock off the driveway in 15 minutes or less (small drive). While out front, Gayle grabs the paper from across the street, tosses it into the drive, I hand it to Dolli, she throws it in the house and... locks us out.

All cell phones and keys are in the house... and it's kind of chilly. I circle our old jernt and confirm the only unlocked window is behind a screen. So I tear the screen and muscle up what has always been a tough window wide enough for Gayle to slither in.

I get one of those green plastic yard 'end tables' from the back for her to boost up, and as she steps on it, she does a Three Stooges and steps right through the frozen (now completely shattered) booster.

So I do the school kid thing , lace my fingers, boost her up and in she goes, unlocks the door, and we resume shoveling.

We finish up and I get a mallet, managing to loosen, then lower, the window without shattering it. THAT might have been the big victory of the day.

That and then ME, of all people, later this evening picking the top 5 (out of 12) winners at Miss America, only erring by having the winner and the first runner up reversed. The new Miss America, btw. looks a lot like a brunette, taller, Lauren Ambrose (from '6 Feet Under' Fame). How weird.

OK not that spectacular, but that's the story.

I DID, however, while away, read Michael Chabon's "Gentemen of the Road" and found it to be delightful.
He has written that most adventures occur in the effort to make it to some destination away from our home, and the trip back. Makes sense to me.
OK then. Now That's All Folks! 'nite.