FORGET THE DA VINCI CODE!!

I don't want to get into the habit of carrying contributing bloggers, but in this case, we once again see a story better than anything I could come up with. So, without further ado, from Bob Ethington, Director of Popular Culture at the Akron (Summit County?) Public Library:

My Favorite Library Patron

Ah! And now, this afternoon - for only the second time ever: My Favorite Patron..... Whom I'd only encountered once before, about a year ago, in a similar fashion....

He's an older white fellow, and looks and speaks in what at first seems a very typical, normal manner. "I'm 70 yrs old, could you guess that?", he asks. "When you're bald like me, it's hard to tell. We all look old, hee hee."

"My wife is 68, but you'd never guess that from looking at her...."

But then:

"I died. I was dead for ten years. But then God brought me back to life."

Me: (No response).

"Ten years I was dead...."

Me: "Oh yeah? How about that."

"Ten years.... but then God brought me back. And let me tell you, Heaven is FAR better than you could ever imagine."

Me: (.......)

"Dead for ten years...."

Me: "Well, uh, wow. Jesus was only dead for three DAYS, and you did ten years. That's pretty impressive!"

"Oh, but no. Jesus, he was dead for three nights, and then resurrected. But he went NORTH. Way into outer space, to Venus. And all of the Venusians are now Christians."

Me: "Gee, I didn't know there even was anything living on Venus...."

"That's true, there isn't much life there. But there are WHALES. And the whales there, like the whales on Earth, on very intelligent. And the whales on Venus are Christians."

Really, there's no arguing with this logic! He then walked away.

I once heard Gilbert Gottfried, on Howard Stern, do an impression of Jackie Mason explaining why black folks (the 'Schwartzes') would never go to the moon (too cold) but that Jews would love it.




I've also seen Sun Ra, a documented Pharoah from Saturn.






But this... Bob... you've moved up just a buttload of notches on the "He (or she) who has the most anecdotes when he dies, wins" list, if not for quantity, for the enormity of the quality of this one.

Mazel Tov.