Paul's on a Roll: A Political Message from Joe Sixpack

JOE SIXPACK SITS IN FRONT OF A DRAPED AMERICAN FLAG, CRADLING A SIXPACK OF BUDWEISER. HIS BASEBALL CAP IS REVERSED AND HIS SHIRT ADVERTISES HIS ALLEGIENCE TO THE DETRIOT LIONS.

JOE

Hi, I’m Joe Sixpack, and given the choice of having to sit through a session of Face the Nation or tuning in to old reruns of Baywatch, I think you know where I’m keeping the plasma screen tuned.
But while I’m a big proponent of self-sedation, mostly to ease the pain of watching my Lions get their asses whupped every weekend, I can still spot a snow job when I see one.
So Sarah, you smiley-faced, suffix-clippin’, double-talkin’, muck-rakin’, commie-watchin’, earmarkin’, bridge-buildin’, caribou-filetin’, tax-rebatin’, gay toleratin’, soccer mommin’, prompter quotin’, bogus stat totin’, drill baby drillin’, snake oil sellin’, self-promotin’ maverick for the little guy… Thanks, but no thanks!

JOE POPS OPEN A CAN OF BUDWEISER AND TAKES A BIG GULP AS WE FADE TO GRAPHIC:

THIS BUDDY BOY’S FOR OBAMA

VOICE OVER: I’m Joe Sixpack, and I (BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRP) approve this message.

From my pal Paul

Paul Koestner, a fine cinematographer and really neat cranky old bitch, also author of "On the Wind and a Prayer" a delightful saga about a man, woman, a boat, and a meatloaf, available through Amazon.com wrote me the following tonight:

Root, Root, Root for the Home Team

While I was in high school, we had some really good sports teams. For some reason, that was incredibly important to Catholics, as if a loving cup might vindicate the vainglorious promise of the Gospel according to Luke. Your cousin might be up on rape charges, but if he was an all-stater, your family had nothing to be ashamed of.

We had some lousy teams too. I know, because I was on one of them. There are a ton of sports programs occupied on any given day across the land, and it’s tough to field a winning team on each and every one of them. Even so, we Americans love our physical challenges, so bring it, Charlie. We got some smokin’ cheerleaders standing by to heal the wounds.

The thing is, regardless of the standing of the present team we’re supporting, the American story is always the same. We are the greatest, and everybody else is a pathetic, detritus-eating dog. Morale is the key to success, and it is no different in the political arena. In the midst of the most laughable team ever fielded by Republicans, the cheerleaders simply hike up their skirts all the higher, and scream all the louder: Your team sucks, and ours is the greatest.

Sarah Palin is so very special, because she’s somebody you’d normally expect to find on the sidelines doing splits that defy human anatomy, while all the boys who didn’t make the team are straining for a view of her Fruit of the Looms. Instead, old Johnny U has handed off the hallowed pigskin to the pompon gal, and we’re all watching to see if she takes it in for the T. She’s so damn inspirational there, with her indefatigable smile, that the refs have their twitchy hands peremptorily on their flags, while the golden gal side-steps her way past reasonable scrutiny, toward the hallowed hash marks of democracy. Sweet Jesus, she might just score! Somebody dress my consolation wiener before the whistle blows.

Recently, Sarah has been looking for a strategic block from Joe Sixpack. I’m wondering if she realizes that he’s under the bleachers trying to feel up the piccolo player before the halftime show. My suspicion is he’ll fall short of his mission, and end up finishing off that six-pack all by hisself.

After that, he’ll do what any red-blooded American boy would do. He’ll finish the job on his own, all the while swearing off any chick with a song-and-dance routine that promises him the stars, while delivering Jack Squat.

****

Well ranted, Paul!!!

To Senator McCain

I'm not thrilled using this page as a bully pulpit to influence all my readers (Kirk, you out there?) on our political race, but again, along with a couple newspapers I sent a variation of this to, I feel a compelling need to say this

Please,

As a Democrat, I'll admit I've felt for years (much to my surprise and odd comfort) that if I had to have a Republican president, I could live with it being John McCain. My impression was that you were a fiscal conservative and, largely, moderate to liberal on many social issues.

But things are now getting out of hand. This election may be getting away from you based on what's going on with our economy but please, I beg you, don't continue this poorly veiled campaign of hate that has developed over the last couple weeks.

You know Barack Obama is not a member of Islam, and you know he has never 'consorted' with terrorists, and you know he's an American. The kind of campaigning you're doing now has Americans that support you HATING the man who might be the next President.

You say your life has been based on service to your country. Is this horribly divisive appeal that stirs up all the rage and frustration that lower income white America has, to the point that these rallys are producing 'mobs' that are yelling that Barack Obama should be killed, what you see as service?

Is this what you want as your base, as your LEGACY?

I've seen interview after interview. So many of these people have no idea who Sarah Palin is, no real idea of you and your history, other than you were a P.O.W. They only 'know' that some guy with an Arabic name, as told by attractive Sarah and ads on TV, is some unpatriotic foreigner trying to steal their country.

You may say publicly "No, he's a good man" but your people are doing this constantly, and no one, for one minute, believes you're not aware of this.

Please stop.

** I posted this and then it occurred to me. This kind of hatred that your ads, your spinners, and your running mate are all fomenting is something powerful enough to cross the timeline of Nov. 4th or January '09 and continue on. In this sense, in that your campaign is actually aiming to encourage distrust and caste hatred of Sen. Obama, as these are not actual policy issues spoken about anymore, this could truly be something of a telegraphed treason, isn't it? Now is THAT what you call service to your nation, what you would call a legacy? Truly Senator, this is out of control and you may be the only one who can put his foot down and stop it.

So again, I beg you to do so.

Obama - Biden

Dolli and I just got back from casting early ballots (NO Diebold Machines) I can't remember EVER getting tears in my eyes as i was about to fill in a ballot. But then I saw it there, with the oval waiting for me to check it in:

Barack Obama
Joe Biden

My throat tightened, my eyes teared. I've been waiting for this moment for a long time, a truly terrible 8 years, filled with frustration, humiliation, anger, resentment, you name it- whatever one feels when they are a dot living in a country that does bad things, to people in other lands and to their very own brothers and sisters, with seemingly no recourse, in a country founded on the principal that we shall absolutely have that very recourse.

As we waited for our ballots, we struck up a conversation with an older African American woman there with her husband, he a quiet, gentle, smiling man wearing a Soap Box Derby hat with a Wingfoot on it, for all you Akronites looking for a real symbol. She told us she had had a vision. The right vision. Given that she also, she told us, had a falling out with her son and HE ended up in the hospital, I'll go ahead and hope this good voodoo of hers is on the money

As we were leaving, we had a short conversation with one of the Democrat canvasers out in the parking lot past the line of demarcation for campaigning. I told the younger black man that this was the most important election of his life. "No," he responded," The most important election of my life was the one that got us into this horrible mess in the first place." Couldn't argue with that.

We then went to Obama Headquarters where we signed the board and rang the bell as early voters, receiving applause from the office. I offered, since I work from home, to drive people to the polls during early voting leading up to November 4th. Dolli signed up to take a day off work on election day to drive voters.

Things are bad and they are going to get worse. I like this man and truly wish THIS was not what his presidency was going to have to start out like. But then again, if I can believe a presidency can help us, elevate us, define us, which I do, then this is the man that we have to have . He's the guy that has a shot, if a shot is to be had.

Weird. What a stirring and scary day... and such a proud day to be an American.



PLEASE VOTE!

OK OK OK

So I obviously need to build momentum here, and will therefore write a new blog posting now.

My interpretation of the debate last night:

Sarah Palin did well enough to raise the bar to the point that we dispensed with the dramedy sufficiently for her to simply lose the debate. Realistically (you all know the melody) who could ask for anything more?


Take 2:
I pretty much hate the foreign policies of both candidates, which make sense as I am becoming a quasi semi pseudo isolationist... today... which is why my Right Wing Libertarian Indie Pal Steve is so conflicted... he loves me so.

This, however, does not deter me from absolute loyalty to the Obama and Tyson ticket. God love Joe's smile!!




Volume 3:
As wonderful as "My Man Godfrey" is, "Life With Father".... isn't.

OK then...

Men's Size 4DD:
Go to http ://www.myspace.com/harveyinthehall and please listen to a sweet (Thanks Bruce & Rob) mix of "In a Very Good Place."

... and finally... Joe Torre ROCKS!!

I am filled with remorse and will NOT publish a pic of him in a Dodger uniform.

Epilogue #5:

Let's GET OUR HALLOWEEN ON PEOPLE!!!